White House for sale

Posted by Abbott Klar Real Estate on Monday, April 1st, 2013 at 12:59pm

Here's your chance to live in the height of city luxury in a masterpiece of 6 custom-finished levels. Situated on 18 acres of fenced land in the heart of downtown Washington, DC, this lovely home encompasses an astounding 55,000 square feet of living space. 

Built originally in 1792, the 132 room, 35 bathroom home features an open, flowing floor plan with 412 custom handmande doors that allow you and your guests to glide effortlessly between rooms. Light streams into your new abode through 147 windows; they also provide unbeatable city views! On those cool winter nights, curl up with a book or a bottle of wine next one of 28 fireplaces spaced graciously throughout this true American manor home!  Since it deserved a $5.7 million reconstruction in 1950, the home is outfitted with 7 staircases and 3 elevators for ease of access.  The exterior paint color must be maintained per home owner association rules. Previous occupents confirm that it takes only a mere 570 gallons of white paint to keep building in accordance to the HOA rules. 

But nevermind the rules!  Think about the expansive entertainment spaces with room to entertain 700 of your closest friends, relatives, world leaders, and real estate agents. Kitchen staff, should you choose to keep them, are able to serve dinner to as many as 140 guests at a time and hors d'oeuvres to more than 1,000. 

Amenities include a bowling alley, billiard room, movie theater, tennis court, jogging track, swimming pool with cabana and private underground entrance, swing set, putting green, underground bomb shelter, (secret service protection does not convey) and private parking. Lawn doubles as helipad. 

Current tenant is very fond of the place and his lease will expire in three years, but his party may wish to renew for another 4 years pending citizen approval.

Price upon request. Ask your agent for details of special assessment. Furniture is extra, financing is possible.  For a private showing please contact your Congressman and be willing to undergo an invasive background check. 

Disclaimers: House may contain the following which will be the sole responsibility of the new owner to remove: Asbestos, lead paint, nuclear missile material, ghosts (please ask agent for previous seance and exorcism details), and the egos of 43 past tenants.

Washington DC is Awesome.  Live Here.

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